Blackmail and the Pink Toilet

My rental is in a 20 year old, fancy neighborhood.  It has HUGE custom homes, wide streets, perfect yards, pretty lamp posts, and we are the only family here, under 60 years old.  We have heard that the home owners association is strict.  I have lived in a neighborhood with a HOA before, and have been in trouble with one before.  I have been in all sorts of trouble, but not because I am devious or evil, just fiery, feisty and dyslexic (I write checks for the wrong amount or put change in the wrong parking meter).  I'll admit that what happen tried my patience and my mouth got away from me.  I am not blameless.

A teen-aged girl at my church has been fundraising for World Vision.  If you don't know what they do, you should find out, but mostly they feed kids around the world.  $1 feeds one kid, for one day.  I feel passionately about World Vision, and about my friend who is fundraising for them.  I love her!

She has raised $1200 so far, the local news paper is doing a story about her, and it has been in the nicest developments in our county, without incident

Here is her plan to earn money:  She purchased a toilet from the Habitat Restore.  She painted it hot pink and put flowers in the tank.  On the seat is a note explaining the project.  It says something like:  If you want the toilet out of your yard, make a check out to World Vision for $15.  Call the number on the lid, and tell us who you would like the toilet delivered to, and they will donate to World Vision, and so on, and so on, yard after yard!  Then it said,  (this is all in good fun, and if it is an inconvenience, we will come and get the toilet right now).

You know that toilet ended up in my yard.  You know my financially well-off, 20 years retired, neighbors weren't very happy.  As soon as the toilet was in my yard, I called the number, wrote a check and put it on the toilet seat in my yard, so everyone who looked, could see I was taking care of it.  I left the toilet in the yard, instead of hiding it in the garage, so that everyone could see it.  I was proud of my friend's creativity and caring.  I wanted to give everyone a chance to support hungry kids around the world.  I guess my faith in human kindness was a bit naive.   Anyway, I went on a long hike and returned about noon to my house.

There in the driveway was the president of the HOA.  I'll call her Lady A.  Her husband was in their high end car, with the engine still running.  Her friend was standing nearby.  Oh, no.....

We got out of the car and were as friendly as we are by nature, which is friendly.  Silas introduced us, again, and asked her name, again.  I observed she seemed upset, aloud.  She was shaking and nearly in tears (because of the toilet).  I asked her several question.
"Could you tell me more about what is going on?"  no real answer
"Could I tell you more about the fundraiser and what it is for?" no real answer, just very upset.

She had been called by several home owners in the development, complaining.  My plan was to ask her questions, until she deflated her own position, which was flimsy.

That was my plan.  What happened was I lost my patience, and my frontal lobes were unable to restrain my tongue.  Then, while I was listening to her fumble on, about the "eye sore", I saw red.

I went to the toilet, and picked up my check.  I held it up for Lady A to read, and pointed with my finger to the recipient of the check, World Vision.  I said, "Do you see who this check is made out to, by me?  That says World Vision.  World Vision feeds hungry children all over the world.  If you are the kind of person who is worried about this toilet being in my yard for a few hours, then you are a very shallow woman!"  I was back to seeing blues and greens, and there was Silas, with his mouth agape and his eyes wide, stepping back.  This woman is clearly my elder, and I should respect her enough to not serve her the honest truth with a fire poker, but I did.

For sure, she huffed off, saying I don't know her.  That is true.  I am hopeful that she is the most caring and generous woman who has lived, but her actions and words were telling me differently.  Maybe we caught her on a bad day?  We asked her not to leave, so that we could resolve it.  She had already called the number on the toilet to complain.

The mother of the sweet girl who is fundraising, told her she was coming to get the toilet, that we had nothing to do with it, and how could she make it right.  She was so nice.  Lady A told her some neighbors were going to call the police, as it was clearly blackmail.  I was hoping they would, to further the silliness of the whole event.   Lady A also said that donating to World Vision is something she might be interested in.

Later that day, I wrote her a letter to apologize for losing my temper.  I told her I felt compassion for her situation as a leader of folks complaining to her, and at the same time, the toilet was actually for a good cause.  I told her I was sad she went away mad, and that I want a friendly relationship with her.  I feel absolution for it, though I don't feel sorry I said, "shallow" to her.

Wouldn't it have been nice if to get rid of the toilet, instead of a lot of angry complaining, there were 20 checks for $15 in the toilet?  Do our worlds get smaller as we age?  I want to have world vision.

• If you haven't thought of donating to World Vision before now, consider it.  You can help someone who needs it, a kid.  You also might broaden your scope!