Housing Reflection: Summing Up

I bought a tree for my husband's birthday.  It's a dogwood.  He sees it, in the woods or in a yard, and asks me its name nearly every time.  "It's a dogwood", I say.  He loves them, but can't remember the name, I think because they look different in every season.  


To celebrate him and our new house, I got him a dogwood.  It is small and spindly, but it will grow into something more beautiful with time.  I hope to get to watch it grow here.  We have arrived.  We are home.  

Where people live is a big deal, and where I live has not just been about safety and comfort, it has shaped my character.  Here are some closing thoughts on this story:

• Home is not a place.
• Peace can be found during tumult through integrity.
• Integrity requires fortitude.
• I have more fortitude than I thought I did.
• Trying harder sometimes won't make things better.
• Failure is often a doorway to a better place.
• Hope can be found in failure.

It is my wish to have passed a bit of the hope we have found, to you.  Thank you for reading my story.

Rent Free

I've neglected this blog for a while, as nothing interesting is happening.  In the last few months, we made two offers to Bank Of America to buy the house we live in for a short-sale price.  The bank valued the house 55k over what we offered.  We felt our price was fair, and what we can afford.  The bank wanted more.

I am curious about the big picture for the bank.  55k is a ton of money for me, but I am thinking it is not much for the bank.  I think we will submit another offer that is a bit higher (just a bit) and see if they bite.  If not, we can move when the house sells or the bank owns it.  We have 60 days to be out after that time.

For now the rent is very reasonable.  The owners are not charging us rent anymore.

Hurry Up & Wait

The papers are signed, all we need to do is wait.  The bank will decide, in their time, if they will accept our offer for the house.

It has been my experience that waiting, warps my perception of time.  This time, I am hoping the bank takes a long time to get to our stack of papers.  Last time I was hoping they would take a long time to get to our stack of papers.  Last time they only took a few weeks, and we had to move in a rush.  The longer it takes, the longer I am not paying rent.  Please take your time, Bank of America!

If the bell is going to ring at your kids school and you are running behind, those few minutes seem lightning-bolt fast.   If you are stopped at a stop light, the same amount of time can drag on, and on.  If you are carrying your first baby around in your belly, each day is long.  If you are carrying your second baby around in your belly, the same amount of days are seemingly shorter.

If my perspective and perception of time is what makes waiting short or long, then I am going to try to "suffer" during this time of waiting.  Will that stretch it out?

Giving In

The timing is terrible for us to buy a house.  We are leaving for a long time to go to Eastern Europe.  This weekend we will make a short sale offer on the house we live in, for what we feel is a screaming deal!

I think we will be fine on the details of the transaction, because it will take a long time to deal with the bank. So there you have it!

I really don't like to be pushed for time on a huge decision.  I have already made some decisions about what I will do to this house if it is mine.  I've had a year to think about it!

The first thing I will do is cut down the evergreen topiaries that flank either side of our front door.  I have posted a photo, so that you can agree with me.

Oh Bother!!! or Adventures in Missing the Point.

As my favorite stuffed bear might say, "OH!! Bother".  

In lieu of foreclosing,  starting Friday, our landlords are short sale-ing ("short saling" the verb has not been invented yet) this house.  Since they are not paying for this house, they are kind enough to ask us not to pay rent, which is nice for now.

So, Friday.......  That is the day that folks will start tromping through my house.  Next Wednesday will be the day I leave to go to Europe for the rest of the summer to teach English (don't worry, my house will be occupied, by bouncers and armed leprechauns).

We recommended our realtor to our land lord, so now our realtor is selling our house for our land lord, while we are hoping to buy this house from our land lord/B of A.  He did short sale our other house without a hitch.  What is not recommendable about that?  Here's what:  Now, the person helping us find a house is selling our house.  He said we need to make an offer before we leave next week.  NEXT WEEK?  I'm busy next week.

I though, sure, great, whatever.  Really though, I am not sure I want to run our side of escrow from Europe.  I don't want the pressure of financing, and inspections, while I am away.

It seems before you do something big in your life, there are always distractions.  Your best girlfriend decides she HATES you the week before she stands up for you in your wedding.  Your dog gets expensively/mortally sick before a big trip.  Life is an adventure in missing the point.  I want to go teach English at camp for the next several weeks and not think for five minutes about the roof over my head.  Of course I have not been thinking of it much, but now that I am leaving for a LONG time, it seems pressing.

Real estate stinks.  Plain and simple from my perspective.  If this house we live in is still for sale when we get back, then we will make an offer.  I will be sad to miss an opportunity to live in this house for longer.  I also will wonder if I missed an opportunity at another place somewhere else.  There is no winning at the game during this state.  Prices will still go down in the next year, and we will wonder if we could have something better somewhere else.

Every time I go teach English abroad, I have come home a different and better person.  I am banking on that this year especially.  I am okay leaving, knowing I might not get to buy this house, as someone else might beat me to it.  It is uncomfortable, yes.  If you read this blog at all, you know I am getting better at letting myself be uncomfortable.  That feeling is not fatal, just difficult.  Mostly it requires fortitude and integrity.  I've got tons of those!

Housing Irony

     Our first house in Sparks, Nevada is again for sale.  We purchased it in 2003 after moving from Ohio.  We purchased it in the $200's and sold it just as the market was peaking/crashing at the end of 2005 in the $300's.  Now it is for sale in the $100's, seven years later.  We used the money we got from the sale of the house in 2005 as a down for the house we just sold short in 2010.

     Look at that house!  It is pretty nifty! I especially like  the color, mostly because I painted it that color (with the help of some of you reading this). I'll admit that I did not like living in Sparks.  Maybe it was the location, maybe it was just a personally rough patch for me, maybe it was this house, or maybe it was because I wanted to be somewhere else.  

     Every few months I look at the real estate in Sparks to see if 'our house' goes back on the market.  Yesterday, I found it.  It has been for sale for a month.  The man who bought it from us was not kind to us, and it was a terrible experience selling and moving out, but we were glad to go.  Knowing how much he paid us for it, and that it is for sale for now, I feel like it is Karma.  I try that feeling on for about 2 seconds and then take it off.  I should feel sad for him, and that it might be adding to his crabby-ness, and I do feel sad.  I actually feel fortunate.  Seeing this house for sale again, makes me disinterested in owning a home.  A useful way to work through painful stuff is to look at it in a new way.  I've re-capture events and details with a new point of view.  Finding this house for sale, reclaimed my memory for the better.

The kids throw laundry down the stairs, instead of going to bed.
 Look how clever they are!

     I keep thinking that I won't contribute to this blog anymore, because our adventure with the real-estate market is seemingly over.  Though it may be over, I'm still figuring it all out.  Looking at the numbers, and looking back, farther than just our last house, we have lost nothing.  Yes, we have had to say goodbye to much, but lost something?  No!  Not really even money, which is the most superficial part of this whole situation.  I still remember nursing my baby in that house, the tomatoes and roses in the garden, snow in the yard, breakfast with my sister, my boy's first day of kindergarden, and killer desert rainbows!  Aren't we always saying goodbye to something, and adjusting to something new, or shouldn't we be?

     Today I am thankful to be where I am.  If proximity matters, then I am happy here.  If the proximity of my heart matters, then I am even more happy to be where I am.

Rock & Wood

I skim read the local paper everyday online.  Today, I read an article about this continuing trend.  Really?  Real estate prices drop 13%?  Is this good news for my family and me?

It has been 8 weeks since we moved into our new digs.  It has been 2 months of a seriously rich summer.  We've had hours of time to process our experience and what lessons we can honestly carry away with us.  Our hearts have grown in spite of what we own.  As it turns out,  I am ambivalent about housing prices as I read The Union this morning.

My friend Petra gave me this little house with a family in it.  Again, the lesson washed over me. Just the idea that a friend could pass a small piece of pained wood to me, and know me so fully, made me feel home.  It made her real estate in my heart go up just about 13%.

Loaves and Fish

We are made up of many parts. Body, mind and spirit. I realize that much of what I have been blogging about here is spirit. There is the physical dwelling (body) that we need to make sound choices about (mind) and what really is important in the long-run for our journey (spirit). I'm a spiritual person. I know my take on controversial subjects such as politics, money and religion are different than yours, and that is okay with me. If it isn't okay with you, then you won't like my post. I'm giving you an out here........

Moving on.

Not paying my mortgage for 3 months, and selling our house short has been nothing, if it hasn't been a spiritual experience. I have learned who I am, and what is important to me, and how tightly I hold to ideas which are not sacred, but seem safe. I have learned the true meaning of integrity. Things are seldom what they seem, and I have no authority to make a call one way or another when something is not my concern. You live well, and I'll do my best too. I can only speak for me, which is why I'm going to talk about a story from the life of Jesus in my blog about real estate.

There is a time in the life of Christ where He was talking to many many people for a long long time. Everyone was hungry and all of them were far from a place to get something to eat. Those close to Jesus asked to let everyone be dismissed to get dinner. In typical Jesus fashion, he gave a cryptic command. He said to them, 'you feed them'. The disciples pushed back, and asked how they were to feed 5,000 people without food or money (good question). He told them to go and see how much food everyone had if they combined all the food. They found 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus gave thanks for the food, and served 5,000 people with that small amount. All the people were full, well fed, and there was food left over.

Flash forward to 2 Fridays ago. My house is packed in boxes. The only things I have, my body, mind and spirit, are tired and weak. I look around and feel alone. Maybe not physically alone, but even so, my kids are at school, my husband is at work, and I'm packing and cleaning from dusk 'till dawn. My mind tells me some bad things:
I am alone (I am tired and not thinking clearly. Clearly I am not alone.) Who has willingly done something so stupid, as to practically give the only possession we have of potential worth to a mega-institution so they can make money on it? I'm asking myself this because I hate moving, and organizing all my stuff, and because I'm tired. If I sit down too long, then it won't EVER get done. I'm going mad a bit. Where are my socks, where are the keys to the mail box, what box to the thumb-tacks go in, where is my cat and have I fed him?
As you could imagine, my spirits were low.

At 3 p.m., what seems to me a miracle of Biblical proportions occurred . My friends and family descended, without call, on my house. In 4 hours, nearly every piece of furniture and all the boxes were at our new house. The next day by 2p.m. my whole house was moved, and nearly unpacked in the new house. I was participating, but in a fog. My mind was cloudy with proximity of possessions, and fumes from cleaning solution. I mopped my self out of every room of that old place, and got sniffling into the car and came home to a new place. 15 people hauling and cleaning and loving my family. Beyond those 15 were scores of well-wishers, calling and asking if there was anyway they could help.

This is the part I thought some might not like, the folks who don't want to read anything about the story of Jesus are already out, at this point. Here is where I'm drawn back to this story of Jesus. Yes, maybe he did spontaneously generate enough seafood and bread to feed the masses. He might have, I'm not saying he didn't, I'm just saying maybe he didn't.

Maybe the people who He was teaching that day were moved enough to share what they had. They might not have been at first before they met Him. Maybe they had the food the whole time, but were unwilling to share. After listening to Jesus talk for an afternoon, they were moved to share what they had. Maybe that is a part of the miracle.

The real miracle might be that we sometimes guard what we have to give, but when we are moved in love to give, like my friends and family, we can move mountains, or a family of 4 across town.

Thank you all so much for letting miraculous things happen, and being a part of the mystery!

You Can Take it With You

For sure, these next few days will be bitter-sweet.  I am excited about an adventure, a new location, and a new budget.  I know moving across town isn't super adventurous when your town has a population of 12,000.  I know this because every move we have made in the last 15 years, has been to another state, across the country, with a newborn, or with absolutely no money.
The bitter part is leaving one adventure, a place we purposefully set ourselves down, for another.  This will be the last Sunday I live in this house, and I like this house.  I'm not complaining, but I am feeling sentimental.  If had to leave here because of some fantastic reason or because our house burned down, I would still be feeling sentimental.  Moving because of a short-sale falls somewhere between the two.
The sweet parts of leaving are my memories, and I can have those if I stayed as well.  I'm going to let myself feel tender about it, blog about it, then let it go.  It feels hard, but as it should be.  I'm sure this next week will be strenuous and busy enough that I won't have time to feel anymore about it.

I'm Not Trendy

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Here is a segment from 60 Minutes.  It really just explains more of the same featured in my previous posts.  I feel it is pretty balanced, not making the banks look like terrorists, nor the short-sellers like snakes.  I find it interesting how the media, and therefor 'the whole world' sees our situation.  In a way it is inflammatory.  Since I don't have television, it seems amazing that my choices, made independently of news media, is trendy.
I am anything but trendy.  I wore/wear hand-me-downs and thrift-store clothing.  I sew.  I drink tea.  I like eggplant, pate', and liver.  I don't use a credit card.  I don't like ice cream.  I like square-toed shoes, and staying on dry land.  I'm shy.  If it is a trend, I either am a late to the party (facebook, cell phones, tattoos, running), or was doing it before it was trendy (recycling- really that's all on this list).
This week, as we say goodbye to this house that was our home, I don't feel trendy.  I don't think something that is hard, is likely to be trendy.
I know that paying a mortgage is hard, because it costs money and time, and sometimes too much money, and too much time.  We were faced with the hard choice of doing nothing and living with an unfortunate situation, or being very proactive, and facing the hard task of getting out of a unfortunate situation.  As I tape up boxes of our belongings, it doesn't feel like a trend that is newsworthy.  CBS can't express the tenderness I'm feeling.

And The Winner Is....

This is me.  Clearly.  This is a stack of realtor cards.  If you have never sold a house, or bought a house, you might not know about this, but every time a realtor shows a house, they leave a card.
I kept a dish by the front door, and if you count, 50 realtors showed our house. 50!!!!!  Think about that.  Each one brought with them 2-5 potential buyers with them.  In three months, we had over 150 house guests?  How happy would I be if all of them brought me some nice dark chocolate, and laid it in the dish, instead of card stock?
Did I clean my house to perfection?  You bet I did.  Did I need to? Absolutely not, but I wanted to.  Now, my house is 70% in boxes, and it is hard to tell if it is a mess, or if I am moving.  It is probably both.  This morning after I got the kids out the door, I took a nap!  After this, I'm putting all my fabric into clear plastic bins, so I can see in, and get organized!  After that?  I might fill a box with kid-closet stuff.  This is not the glamourous part of a short-sale, and come to think of it, none of it is too appealing.  I know cable TV shows try to make getting organized, home sales, and yard work alluring, but still it is just dusty, dirt and hard work.
The top card is the realtor who's clients are buying our house.

I Love Citi!

Subject: BROWN SS APPROVAL 124 DEER PARK


MAKE SURE FULL ARMS LENGTH, FINAL SIGNED HUD AND WIRE CONFIRMATION COME
STRAIGHT TO ME UPON CLOSING TO EMAIL OR FAX 866 421 4408

I know that my frustration with my inability to break through to some sort of resolution personally with Citimortgage might have jaded my former posts. With a lot of help from an experienced realtor, a patient buyer, and a full moon, we received some good news today.

Chatting with an old friend (he was kind), I was struck at how jaded and judgmental I was feeling towards an institution. What a waste of time. Today I am grateful that Citi didn't take its time approving our short sale. We will move by June 4th, unless something changes. Nothing is a sure thing.

It is amazing how one can be lead by her feelings!   Today, I feel fine, like I weathered a small storm. Thinking about it, nothing has changed.

Now, to find some boxes, a place to live, and a new plan.

Catching Up

I went out of town for a week, and didn't blog, and tried to think about other things for a bit.

After 3 month on the market so far, and 50 realtor visits, someone made an offer on our house today.  Also, foreclosure proceedings should start soon, as we will be 90 days late in a few days.  It is a race to see if we can short sale our house, or the bank will foreclose.  We are skeptical that we will be able to short sale our house, as we are in no need.  The bank will have the final say.

An offer gives us a time line:  90ish days.  I hope the folks who made the offer have the patience of Job, and don't mind being disappointed if the bank declines.  If they can stand the heat, they will have a value-price dwelling!

I'm excited to think of renting as I am up for a change.  A friend even offered me a plot in her garden, so I can still have that!  I am trying to have hope and integrity.  An offer, or even any sort of movement makes that easier.

The news has been FULL of reports about our situation, and others like us.  Here is a clip from a morning show.  It is kinda a downer, so think about a cool trip to the zoo when you were a kid after you are done.  Let's not take ourselves too seriously.



I don't have TV, but folks are passing stuff my way.   Thanks so much!

Not a Through Toad

Last night I used the World Wide Web to learn what is out there about strategic defaults.  I shouldn't have.  I know that all signs point to the fact that we are making sound financial choices for our family.  It is easy to have a chart and a graph to point the way, but there is more.

Looking at the opinions of so many last night, I felt insecure and judged.  As I drug myself to the bed, I was sure that the collapse of the financial institutions and real estate market was nearly all my fault, and that I am only contributing to the demise of our collective security as a country.

I also was struck by the ability for so many to find moral fault with what we are doing, but not so much with the financial institution so unwilling to work with me, also strategically defaulting on their investments.  They short sale their stock, give high rise buildings back to the lenders, and beg the government for mercy.  Some were harsh, saying those who are defaulting are trying to 'stick it to the banks'.  I am not trying to do that, I am trying to start over.

This morning, as I am rested and have had coffee, I can be reflective.  There are so many points of view about the demise of the real estate market.  The real fact is, no one knows the future.  The angry folks who are judging may have more problems than just the bad real estate market.  Scaring me into making my mortgage payment is a lie.  Shaming me into paying my mortgage is wrong.  I am skeptical when anyone wants to persuade me with fear and shame.  Who does't have doubts and fears about their choices and future?

Though I am daily reflecting about what we are doing on this blog, and am going to toot my own horn in writing, the fact is, I'm not sure of what we are doing.  What I am sure of, is that I don't want to live my life in fear, and I don't want to tell myself "you shoulda....." in the future.

I would rather have some doubts about my future, than imprisoned by my future.

Why I'll Miss My Home

Spring

I'll miss my home because of spring.

I won't miss a realtor leaving the key in an unlocked door today, unnecessarily exposing my house to the random drive-by rubberneckers, robbers and dog-nappers.

P.S.  You can't smell this tree just from a photo, which is such a shame.

Short Sale Taxes

It's tax season, and taxes are on my mind.  I think taxes are super boring, and sometimes terrible.  Before we decided to sell our house for less than we owe, we went to a real estate lawyer.  It was our hope to avoid any potentially terrible/taxable/illegal things happening that we were not ready for.  We wanted to be informed.

If we short sell our house, the difference between what we owe, and what the buyer pays is potentially and usually taxable by the federal and state governments.  This seems silly as we would never see the cash, but it is because the government sees the difference as a 'gift' from the lender.  It would be a gift to be out from under an extravagant loan.

Fortunately, George Bush made a federal tax shelter on short sale income until December 2010.  The state can tax the difference if the house is not your primary residence and you have lived in it less than 2 years.  It seems as if we are in the clear on the tax front, but nothing is a sure thing.

If we are taxed on the difference, the tax will be negligible compared to the extreme cost of the loan and house we currently live in over the lifetime of the loan, or until we could sell and make money (in 37 yrs. looking at statistics).  We are having faith that this might work out, and by faith, I mean faith with a lawyer as an angel.

Short Sale Sob Story

Here is the latest on the short sale.  There is no news.

Though the price of our house dropped $40,000 last week, and more than 8 groups of realtors and potential buyer cruised through my immaculate house (opening my closets!!) over the weekend, no offers.

In 2 weeks the price will drop again, and it will stop dropping there, I hope.  The irony here is the lower the price, the more folks come to see the joint, and the less I want to keep it clean.  Taking excellent care of something that is worth so much less than we paid is disheartening.  Also, the lower the price goes, the less likely the bank will approve of a short sale.  They want the money we owe them, and at this point, it will be a big gap they would forgive.

Today, I threw the bag I carried on my bike ride on the counter along with the mail, all the dishes are undone, and 5 days worth of clean laundry is on the couch.  I have not vacuumed in 3 days (my vacuum broke).  If a realtor calls to show it, I'll just say no.  It kinda seems that it doesn't matter.

On an up note, the longer we stay in our house, the more likely my veggies will be mine at the end of the summer.  90 days of a short sale from now would be mid-June!  A few more weeks out, and I have tomatoes in August.

Escrow Account

I can't think of anyway to embellish the details of our escrow account.   Tax laws, interest rates and escrow are technical details that I have trouble bringing to life with words.  Let me give it a try anyway.

I called to get the money out of our escrow account the day I also turned off the not-so-easy-pay for our mortgage payment.  An escrow account is a holding tank for money that gets used for things other than paying for the house, such as insurance and taxes.  We have to keep a lot of money in the account, as our house is very expensive.

I wanted the money in the escrow account so that I could pay my taxes and insurance, in fear that the lender would use the money to pay my mortgage, or as 1/1000 of a bonus for Vikram Pandit, the CEO of Citigroup. 

Here is the deal on getting money out of escrow accounts at Citi:  If you are current on your payment, then you can get the money out.  At the time I called, I was current, but we all know how that turned out.  You can also get the money out of escrow if your house is worth 75% of what you owe on the house (loan to value ratio).  Clearly they are worried that folks like me, whose loan to value ration is 63% are a risk.

A person with a loan to value ratio of 63% might decide it is silly to pay the mortgage and want the cash out of her account.  They offered to snail-mail me some forms within 10 business days (which is really 2 weeks).  The form did arrive 2 weeks later, and it had more information on it than the lady on the phone told me, that bit about the loan to value ratio, she forgot to mention, or at least I'm letting her 'forget'.

Can I interest you in some tax law tomorrow?

Two Camps

Since I started writing this blog last Monday, it has stirred up some conversation/controversy.  I opened myself up for the conversation, and am having them at the park, in the pick-up line at school, at the grocery, on the phone, on Facebook, and at the dinner table.  There are basically two camps of folks.  

The first group are unsure of our plan.  I hope this is out of concern for our welfare and safety, as well as not knowing the preparation we put into our decision.  

The second group are curious, or have already gone through something similar.  I have heard dozens of stories about all the trouble people have gone through on behalf of their houses.

Let me assure the unsure.  We have sussed out the details as best as anyone can.  We've considered the taxes, the lender, the relator, our financial well-being, our children's college accounts, the law, our consciences.  When we do the numbers, and consider our options, we are sleeping well at night.

For those of you who have gone before us, I welcome your stories.  I can only learn from anything that you have already experienced.

Here is a book that Silas and I read, that really helped us, in an all-around kinda way.  

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/159627042X/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0006RG56U&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0ZV2NMPPT166JVG2JMQ4

Mortgage Crisis Veggie Garden

These are Glacier Tomatoes.  In a bit more than 3 months, they will be huge plants full of healthy food!!

Should I plant them in my garden?  Will I live here for the summer?

I started them anyway, trying to beat back the Dark Side, and live in the moment.

Planting these and paying my mortgage is more of a sure thing than planting these and not paying my mortgage, and yet, nothing is a sure thing.

If our house sells soon, we may/possibly/might be out in June or July.  I'm not packing yet.