Second Marriage

I have been married all of my adult life (if you count 19 as adult, which I did then, but don't now), to the same person.  Being married is nearly the best and most transformative thing I've been a part of.  My husband gently helps me be the person I can be, often without meaning to.  Even though I am not perfect, he still thinks I am beautiful.  He loves me for who I am.

Relationships are transformative, and our relationship with our things isn't exempt from changing us, especially something as big and expensive as a house.

I know mostly everyone is married or committed.  Now that I have been married 14 years, some people have moved from their first significant relationship onto the next one, if the first wasn't what it should have been.

In an interesting conversation with my aforementioned spouse, I was surprised by how non-committal I am about buying a house again.  If I buy another house, I know what I want.  More-so, I know what I don't want.  Much like what I hear people saying, when a committed relationship ends.  I know what I don't want, or, I don't know if I'll ever be married again.

I know that relationships are more meaningful and impressive than real estate, but they are comparable because we have to commit to them in a significant way.  If my experiences with real estate were as positive as my experiences in love have been, I might sit on my back patio talking about how I never want to move.  Instead is sit listing what I don't want in my next house.

The underlying principle here is commitment.  My commitment to a house has potential to transform me, for better or for worse.  I have to have faith that my next house won't be like the first 2.  If the perfect house comes along, I might entertain the the possibility of buying it.  Maybe we might just move in together at first.  Now I am in credit purgatory, so it doesn't matter for a while, so I am free to think and feel anyway I want about my next relationship house.