Rhetorical Mediocrity

I've read mediocre books where at some point in the story, the author or editor spoon feeds the reader, rather than just tell a great story.  The main character starts to ask rhetorical questions of himself such as, "Does she really love me?  How long is it going to last this time?  Should I buy a loaf of bread?" so that the reader can get into the head of the character.  It is a cheap trick, or at least I think it is, I'm not an author.  Needless to say, at this point in any book I'm frustrated!

Today as I scrubbed my kitchen for potential buyers, mopped, dusted, folded, and de-cluttered for the 30th time in as many days, I find myself asking silly questions to keep the story going, or to keep the house clean enough for perfect strangers to tromp their muddy shoes through.

"Why am I cleaning my house so much when no one really cares?  Why do I care what anyone thinks of how I keep my house, or me for that matter?  Why can't I just relax all the way about this house thing?  How did Malt-O-Meal get here?"

With the feather duster in hand this morning, I decided just to tell the story (and keep cleaning).

Also, a huge thank you to my talented friend PR Frank http://prfrank.com/ for making me a banner, so I can feel like a real blogger.

Escrow Account

I can't think of anyway to embellish the details of our escrow account.   Tax laws, interest rates and escrow are technical details that I have trouble bringing to life with words.  Let me give it a try anyway.

I called to get the money out of our escrow account the day I also turned off the not-so-easy-pay for our mortgage payment.  An escrow account is a holding tank for money that gets used for things other than paying for the house, such as insurance and taxes.  We have to keep a lot of money in the account, as our house is very expensive.

I wanted the money in the escrow account so that I could pay my taxes and insurance, in fear that the lender would use the money to pay my mortgage, or as 1/1000 of a bonus for Vikram Pandit, the CEO of Citigroup. 

Here is the deal on getting money out of escrow accounts at Citi:  If you are current on your payment, then you can get the money out.  At the time I called, I was current, but we all know how that turned out.  You can also get the money out of escrow if your house is worth 75% of what you owe on the house (loan to value ratio).  Clearly they are worried that folks like me, whose loan to value ration is 63% are a risk.

A person with a loan to value ratio of 63% might decide it is silly to pay the mortgage and want the cash out of her account.  They offered to snail-mail me some forms within 10 business days (which is really 2 weeks).  The form did arrive 2 weeks later, and it had more information on it than the lady on the phone told me, that bit about the loan to value ratio, she forgot to mention, or at least I'm letting her 'forget'.

Can I interest you in some tax law tomorrow?

Two Camps

Since I started writing this blog last Monday, it has stirred up some conversation/controversy.  I opened myself up for the conversation, and am having them at the park, in the pick-up line at school, at the grocery, on the phone, on Facebook, and at the dinner table.  There are basically two camps of folks.  

The first group are unsure of our plan.  I hope this is out of concern for our welfare and safety, as well as not knowing the preparation we put into our decision.  

The second group are curious, or have already gone through something similar.  I have heard dozens of stories about all the trouble people have gone through on behalf of their houses.

Let me assure the unsure.  We have sussed out the details as best as anyone can.  We've considered the taxes, the lender, the relator, our financial well-being, our children's college accounts, the law, our consciences.  When we do the numbers, and consider our options, we are sleeping well at night.

For those of you who have gone before us, I welcome your stories.  I can only learn from anything that you have already experienced.

Here is a book that Silas and I read, that really helped us, in an all-around kinda way.  

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/159627042X/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0006RG56U&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0ZV2NMPPT166JVG2JMQ4

Mortgage Crisis Veggie Garden

These are Glacier Tomatoes.  In a bit more than 3 months, they will be huge plants full of healthy food!!

Should I plant them in my garden?  Will I live here for the summer?

I started them anyway, trying to beat back the Dark Side, and live in the moment.

Planting these and paying my mortgage is more of a sure thing than planting these and not paying my mortgage, and yet, nothing is a sure thing.

If our house sells soon, we may/possibly/might be out in June or July.  I'm not packing yet.

Nothing New Under the Sun

Here is a famous story.  The names have been changed, but use the key below to figure it out!

Change the name servant #1 to 'Citi', and the amounts to $45 billion ($45,000,000,000).
Change the name of servant # 2 to "Average Nevada County Homeowner", and the amount to $350,000 
(Citi owes the feds 128,571 times more than the average homeowner owes Citi.)

"A king decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.

"The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.

"The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, 'Pay up. Now!'

"The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.

"The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?' The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt."